You have finally made the decision to move ahead with the donor egg or sperm. Or maybe you have decided that working with a gestational carrier is the way to go. You may have already selected your donor or gestational carrier. Perhaps you have had your match meeting and signed all the paperwork.
You are very eager to start. But now, another obstacle.
Your doctor says you need to have an intended parent (IP) consultation with a written report before moving forward. What is an intended parent consult anyway? Are you now going to be told you are not fit to be a parent? Are you going to be psychoanalyzed?
The anger starts to creep in, and then the frustration and annoyance of yet another thing you have to do.
Let’s keep moving forward.
Many IVF clinics, agencies, or donor banks require potential intended parents to undergo a consultation with a psychologist before working with a carrier or egg/sperm donor.
This 50-minute intended parent consultation is designed to educate intended parents – not analyze them – about potential psychological issues associated with surrogacy and/or egg donation. You will not be judged. You will not be psychoanalyzed, either.
What we will do is discuss different scenarios and provide tools to deal with the unexpected. For example, what are your expectations related to disclosure to family and friends? How and when will you disclose this to your child? How will you cope with a failed cycle? What will you do with any remaining embryos? What type of relationship do you want with your carrier or donor during and/or after birth?
There are so many things to consider, things that you probably never even thought of because you were too engrossed with coping with your diagnosis, finding a donor or surrogate, and learning all this new terminology.
I will make it easy for you.
At this point, over the last 12 years, I have consulted with hundreds of parents, just like you. You don’t have to explain fertility terminology or explain the process. I know it. I have lived it.
I know you want to move fast and get to the next step in the process. So, when we meet, I will cut right to the point and have a written report based on American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) guidelines sent directly to your IVF Center, agency, or bank by the next business day.
I also offer a free 20-minute consultation to answer any of your questions.